December 16, 2010

Not sure how to title this....

The last couple of weeks have been, how do I say, less than uneventful.  November 27th started out as a normal day for me.  I hadn't started to have any symptoms of pregnancy as of yet, but I was only 5 weeks and 2 days at the time.  I spent the day with Josh and the boys and around 3pm I started to feel kind of odd.  I had been having back pain most of the day (I assumed due to a bladder infection I was diagnosed with on Thanksgiving day in urgent care) and around 3:30 or 4pm I started bleeding.  It wasn't a lot but it was enough to have me crying and concerned.  I immediately called our Nurse advice line and was told that if I was bleeding heavily I should come into the ER.  After I was off the phone, I contemplated calling R and C but I knew that if I tried to tell them I would start crying and they would freak out before even knowing if there was anything to be worried about.  So instead I called J, my coordinator at the Agency.  I tried to explain what was going on but it was hard to fight back the tears.  She calmed me down and explained that it could be totally normal.  She offered to call R and C for me and I was so happy about that.  We decided to leave it up to them whether or not I should go into the ER.  The least they could do for me was check my Beta levels and possibly give me an ultrasound to check for gestational sac(s).  J called me back and said R and C definitely wanted me to be seen that night, so off to the ER we went.

It was around 5pm when we got checked in.  The triage nurse explained that the ER was very busy that evening and the chances were good that the dr. would tell me it was a threatened miscarriage and there is nothing I would be able to do about it.  I explained the situation to the nurse and said there were others involved besides me.  She reluctantly signed me in.  When I went back to the room and met the Dr., I was less than pleased with his attitude.  His bedside manner was horrific.  He didn't ask me anything.  He showed no concern for me emotionally.  He did his job.  He told me there was nothing we could do if it was a miscarriage.  I explained that my IP's wanted to have a beta done to make sure my levels were rising.  He was okay with that.  I wanted a vaginal ultrasound and was practically laughed at.  He assured me that we wouldn't see anything on a vaginal ultrasound this early.  I said "not even a gestational sac?" (knowing the answer was yes) and he said "well, yes but that won't tell us anything."  I explained that I wasn't looking for answers, just reassurance.  He then said "Well, I can't guarantee your insurance will cover it." and I said that was fine; my IP's would be willing to cover it if my insurance didn't.  More laughs and a "well, we can order any test you want if they're paying!!"  I cannot believe people like that are allowed to practice.

So, now I wait.  He orders the bloodwork and my beta comes back at 8,372.  Awesome!!!  Even a little high!  I waited another hour or more for the ultrasound, which was understandable as they had to call in a tech.  I'm glad for this as I didn't want that Dr.s hands near me.  The ultrasound tech was AMAZING and probably my favorite person I've ever encountered at that hospital.  She showed care and genuine concern for my situation.  We did the ultrasound abdominally and didn't see much so we switched it to vaginal.  She then showed me what she saw.  One gestational sac and one yolk sac!!  YAY!!!!  A baby!!!!  I was thrilled but couldn't help but feel a little sad as well as confused.  We had beta numbers high enough for twins and really thought we had twins.  ***NOT FOR THE WEAK HEARTED---->(Later that night I passed what I believe to have been the other baby.  Without going into too much detail, I know that what came out of me wasn't "normal" and if there was still a gestational sac in me as we saw on the u/s, this had to have been the other one.)

After the ultrasound I waited another hour or more to see the Dr. again.  It turns out there was a shift change!  Thank goodness!!!  The new ER doctor was 10 times more amazing than Dr. Douchecanoe.  He was pleasant, explained my u/s results, what to expect in the following days, etc.  He genuinely cared about me and my physical AND emotional well-being.  It made me feel as though my concerns were real and valid.

I called R and C when I got home and told them about the ultrasound.  They were sad that there was only one baby and that we lost the other one, however, it's hard to be completely devastated when you know you can still have one very healthy baby.

That is our hope anyways...