January 5, 2011

I miss my mom

So, I live in the same town I have lived in for my entire life.  I love it here and I don't ever plan on leaving.  My parents on the other hand, well they moved out of the cold midwest to sunny Arizona a little over 2 years ago.  To be completely honest, I fully expected this to be no problem.  I love my parents, but my mom and I definitely butted heads on more than one occasion and many topics related to parenting, etc.  There was a time after my first son was born that she was so upset with me, she didn't speak to me for over a month!!  We eventually talked and realized that we had very different views on many different things.  We agreed to disagree.

So when we later learned they would be moving to be closer to my grandparents in Arizona,  I wasn't surprised, but I was sad.  I knew I would miss her but I also knew this distance would be good for us.  Well, if it was meant to completely tear out my heart, I'd call it a job well done.  I've never missed anyone as much as I miss my mom.  I don't know if it's the pregnancy hormones, but I do know that my heart really hurts knowing I only get to see her and my dad once a year at the MOST.  It's been hard.  It's hard telling the boys about grandma and grandpa in Arizona when the only grandparents they really know live just down the street from us (Josh's parents).  They don't understand and it makes me really sad. 

My mom is probably the most supportive about this surrogacy.  When I first told her, she was THRILLED!  It's just not the same reaction I got from other family member's when I shared the news.  My grandmother thought I would be giving away my own baby (she didn't understand the difference between gestational and traditional surrogacy) and my grandfather was okay with it until he found out it was for a gay couple.  Then all of the sudden it wasn't right.  But my mom.  She's been SOO supportive 100% of the time.  And I love her for that. 

Well I decided that I cannot wait longer to see my parents, so we are taking the boys and flying out in February!  We are staying with them for 1 week and it's been a long time coming.  I'm ready for warm weather, fresh produce, and most importantly, time with the people who are my life.

11 weeks!

Well we've made it to 11 weeks and I am finally starting to feel like a normal person again.  I had some pretty crazy morning (all day) sickness for awhile there and there were days when I really didn't want to even get out of bed.  I never had many symptoms with my own pregnancies so this has thrown me for a loop.  I was starting to get used to puking multiple times a day.  Not that I liked it (I actually LOATHE throwing up) but the more I did it, the easier it became.  Almost like second nature.  Yuck.  I was a pretty terrible house wife and mom for a few weeks there.  My kids were helping themselves to food (they're 3 and 1) and watching Sesame Street while I lay on the couch all day long.  I felt really horrible about this of course.  My poor husband would get up with our kids at 5:30am (they're early risers), get them dressed, fed, etc. and then off to work he'd go.  He'd come home, make dinner, clean the house and give the boys baths and get them ready for bed.  I was useless.  I could tell he was getting frustrated but he never said a word about it. 

I love that man.

But things have started to get better.  I stopped my meds last Thursday and since Friday, I haven't puked!!  It's like a record!  I am starting to actually cook meals again and my house doesn't look like the toy and dust bunny fairies threw up all over.

I can only hope that the rest of the pregnancy goes more smoothly!